Nia means “Purpose”

I was hesitant to share anything unrelated to my niche on here, but I feel the need to share more about my ”Why!” Different experiences I’ve had has allowed me to meditate on the things that feed my soul, give me happiness and satisfaction! Blogging does that for me. Sharing also does that for me... I wanted to share with You one of these experiences that helped to mold my “why....”

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So, Nate & I intentionally named our kids names of meaning because we wanted to declare blessings over our kids before they were born. This was particularly important for me, being half African, because that’s normally what Africans do! I’m all for the culture ✊🏾🇰🇪

Our niece MiKayla one day mentioned the name “Nia“ and after loving the way it sounded, I researched the origin (Swahili) and it was a winner! My name is also Swahili so I felt it was fitting.

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Pregnancy with Nia (nameless at the time) started off as normal as any pregnancy. It actually started off better. No crazy symptoms, no abnormal cravings; I just knew it would be a girl since this pregnancy seemed to be completely different from my when I was pregnant with my son Nathan.

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The easy pregnancy was short-lived...only 2 months into my pregnancy, I started off having the worst abdominal pain, nausea; worst than your normal pregnancy pain. Went to the ED and after abnormal blood work had some scans that revealed a huge growth on my pancreas. This didn’t cause any scare right away. I was more concerned about if the baby was okay (did not know gender yet)!

The doctors did advise us that while an MRI or CT could not be done while I was pregnant, to make sure I followed up afterwards so it could be better diagnosed.

I was hospitalized 3 more times after this for issues related to the pregnancy (so we thought)....

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Fast-forward months later, I’m postpartum, our baby girl Nia is only 5 weeks old. The baby weight is GONE (not by my own doing). I’m feeling ‘fine’ not thinking that it’s anything unusual about losing 30lbs in 5weeks (not normal) and it just hits me one morning and this time worse than ever...PAIN!

It began as back pain, the night prior to going in to work. I remember complaining about it to Nathan that morning, but I still go into work because it truly takes ‘an act of God’ to get me to call-out from work!! That’s just how I was raised.

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I get to work and I am in so much pain I can’t even type an instant message to my manager to let her know how I’m feeling! I am throwing up in my trash can (trying not to cause a scene) in the office. It took everything in me to grab my things, call my boss on my cell to advise her I am leaving because something is wrong and then call my husband Nathan to tell him I’m heading home 🤦🏾‍♀️. Yep, home!

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I was still in denial that I needed to be hospitalized even though this pain to me was worse than childbirth. The thought of going to the hospital when I had a newborn and 3yo was, well, unthinkable!

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I go home. GOD drove me home! I literally do not remember how I drove with how I was feeling!

Nathan calls me from work and tells me to drink a lot of water. I didn’t have strength to get water, I laid in the bed just crying because I felt like I was dying and refused to go to the hospital. I’m stubborn!

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After Nathan got wind that I wasn’t drinking water he rushed home from work and convinced me to let him drive me to seek help. I cried more because I already knew I probably would not be returning home that day. •

I go to urgent care because God-forbid I go to the ED and they admit me while I have a newborn that depends on Mommy for food!!!

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After a short evaluation at urgent care the provider looks at me in all seriousness and says that it’s most likely my pancreas and I needed to get to the ED immediately.... her words were “that type of flare up could kill you!”

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They escort my pain-ridden body in a wheelchair out to the car and off to the BIG HOUSE (hospital) we went.

My biggest fear of being admitted happens. I wouldn’t see my newborn and 3yo for a couple days😔.

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Long story shorter, I’m re-admitted another 3x within only two weeks because the flare-ups continue to return every couple days every time they send me home.

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After having all of the necessary scans the doctor tells us that it does not look like a normal cyst and in actually looks very much like a “cancerous tumor” that’s causing my pancreas to flare up!

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At this point, I black-out from normal life, I’m feeling like my little world has come crashing down and I’m drowning in this sea of “What if’s?”

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Had an MRI and we are told that the tumor is not clear to be cancerous or precancerous so we are advised to see a surgical oncologist because it will need to be removed so I can have a quality of life long term and they can biopsy it.

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After a couple of weeks of exploring our “options” (or lack thereof) and deciding what’s best for our family, we decided to have the surgery and allow them to remove 1/2 of my pancreas and spleen (which is attached) to prevent any further growth.

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As I sat around and wondered why this was happening to me; I couldn’t figure out an answer! God gave me the right people around me to help me figure out what I needed to learn in this season of isolation.

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A few weeks before my surgery, one of my amazing doctors on my care team was asking me questions about my baby, Nia and asked why I had named her that name.

I explained to her that Nia is Swahili for “Purpose.”

She then looked up at me from her computer, smiled and said to me, “...and she has already had purpose.”

She went on to explain that the size of my cystic mass makes it evident to them that I’ve had it for quite a while, for whatever reason it wasn’t until I became pregnant with Nia that my body started showing symptoms that something wasn’t right! •

Pancreatic Cancer is often given the nickname the “silent killer” because most do not have symptoms until it’s too late! It has a 2% survival rate because of this.

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This baby girl’s existence and birth is what helped find this tumor that needed to be removed from my body before it turned into cancer! What an amazing purpose! I’m so amazed everyday, when I think about how God orchestrated that particular season in my life! I only pray that Nia will continue to leave her mark and have purpose throughout her life!